Great first draft, I like this a lot! I think there are a few things to do here. First, do some audience research to find out if the audience understand the film, if they can predict what will happen, if they can tell you anything about the characters and so on. I think some of the titles go by to quickly and need slowing down - maybe a freeze frame? Also, two of the characters are identified as 'queen bee' and 'outcast' - I think the other two should be too. Also, some edits could be tighter - remember, if you CAN cut it shorter, do!
Great first draft, I like this a lot! I think there are a few things to do here. First, do some audience research to find out if the audience understand the film, if they can predict what will happen, if they can tell you anything about the characters and so on.
ReplyDeleteI think some of the titles go by to quickly and need slowing down - maybe a freeze frame? Also, two of the characters are identified as 'queen bee' and 'outcast' - I think the other two should be too. Also, some edits could be tighter - remember, if you CAN cut it shorter, do!